KOBLENZ, Germany (AP) — Sasha Skochilenko and Sofya Subbotina are planning to get married. That wasn’t an option in their native Russia, but it’s possible now that they live in Germany, which recognizes same-sex weddings.
“We don’t know how or in which city we will do it, but that’s the plan,” Skochilenko, 33, told the Associated Press, looking lovingly at Subbotina, who radiated happiness.
They reunited earlier this month in Germany, shortly after Skochilenko and other Russian prisoners were exchanged in a historic East-West swap — a happy if unlikely ending to an over two-year ordeal.
Skochilenko, an artist and musician, was jailed for speaking out against Russia’s war in Ukraine. Subbotina campaigned for her partner’s release while also trying to make her life behind bars as tolerable as possible.
They talked about marriage in Russia, too, but same-sex weddings have been effectively banned there. Laws restricting LGBTQ+ rights have been on the books for over a decade and intensified since the war began as part of the Kremlin’s campaign for “traditional values,” fueled by its anti-Western views and close ties to the Russian Orthodox Church.
Now, “I feel that I’m in a really free country,” Subbotina said, as they make plans for a life together in the quiet city of Koblenz in western Germany.
Skochilenko was arrested in her native St. Petersburg in 2022, just weeks after the invasion of Ukraine, for replacing price tags in a supermarket with anti-war messages like saying that Russia bombed civilian targets. She was charged with making false statements about the military, part of the massive crackdown on all dissent over the invasion.
She struggled in pre-trial detention, suffering from chronic illness, including celiac disease, requiring gluten-free meals. Subbotina commuted to Skochilenko’s jail at least twice a week, bringing food, medicine and other necessities. She and their friends made sure the case, which drew public outrage, stayed in the headlines.
Last year, Subbotina was diagnosed with cancer. “I just felt like I was giving up, and honestly, I was just ready to die,” she said.
The couple didn’t see each other for a year. Since they weren’t married, investigators made Subbotina a witness in the case and refused to allow her visits or to receive phone calls from Skochilenko.
“It is not a small thing, when a person you love can’t visit you,” Skochilenko said.
Subbotina added it was “very painful,” noting that she knows many women who married imprisoned men — often with the wedding held in pre-trial detention facilities or in penal colonies.
“It gives them the right for long visits, it gives them the right to get phone calls, short visits, because they have a certain status in the eyes of the authorities,” she said. “We’ve never had this opportunity.”
Subbotina says she eventually was allowed short visits.
They were always very open about their relationship, despite laws against any public endorsement of LGBTQ+ activities, driven by President Vladimir Putin’s close ties with the Russian Orthodox Church.
Skochilenko said it was clear in the early 2010s the Kremlin was headed in a “homophobic direction,” and some of the laws the authorities were adopting drove her to protest back then. In recent years, she said her openness was a form of activism.
People “often have distorted opinions about the LGBTQ+ community because they don’t know anyone” who loves someone of the same sex, and their views often change once they do, she said.
In November 2023, Skochilenko was convicted and sentenced to seven years in prison — an unusually harsh verdict.
This summer, while awaiting an appeal hearing at a detention center in St. Petersburg, she said there was a point when she reached a particular point of desperation about her long sentence. She said she was traumatized by the lack of freedom and privacy, the constant body searches, and the persisting hunger from being unable to eat prison food.
Subbotina visited her in July, and Skochilenko recalls bursting into tears for the first time in months.
“I told her, ‘Sonya, I’m tired of wanting to go home. Please tell me that I won’t have to serve the entire sentence, that some miracle will happen.’ And she said, ‘Yes, why don’t you hope for a miracle?’” Skochilenko said.
That same day, a prison official told Skochilenko to “urgently” apply for a presidential pardon, she said. The artist did not want to admit guilt, but the official said she could simply explain her health problems. She wrote the request and forgot about it, thinking that it would take a long time to even process.
Several days later, she was transferred to Moscow without explanation. In the same van was Andrei Pivovarov, an imprisoned opposition politician that she knew from years earlier. There was hardly any reason for them both to be transferred at the same time, so it suggested that perhaps something good was happening.
Skochilenko spent several long days in Moscow’s notorious Lefortovo Prison, where she was cold and hungry, unable to eat much of the food she was given.
Subbotina learned of the transfer and rushed to Moscow with a care package, visiting every detention center she could think of, without success.
The rest became what many Russians critical of the Kremlin describe as the first good news since the start of the war. On Aug. 1, Skochilenko and 15 others were put on a bus, driven to an airport and flown to Ankara, Turkey, where they were exchanged for eight Russians imprisoned in the West.
From Ankara, the former prisoners were flown to Germany, where Chancellor Olaf Scholz greeted them on the tarmac. The next day, Skochilenko was finally able to embrace Subbotina, who flew to Germany when she heard the news.
The days since then have been “euphoric,” Skochilenko said, filled with small pleasures like walking and buying the food she wants — but also spending time with the woman she loves.
Subbotina particularly enjoys being able to hold Skochilenko’s hand and kiss her in public without worry. In Germany, she says, it is something that is “just in the nature of things.”
They’ve settled for now in Koblenz but want to visit other cities in Germany before they decide where to live permanently. They’re eager to learn German and begin their new lives.
Skochilenko plans to return to making art, displaying sketches she drew about the prisoner swap -– a moment in history in which she became an unlikely participant. She also said she intends to seek treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder from her time in prison.
Subbotina, a nurse and a pharmacist whose cancer treatment was successful in Russia, hopes to work in the human rights field and help the hundreds of political prisoners in her former country.
Both admit that they never expected to leave Russia in the way they did.
“I don’t feel stressed about moving, because I’m very happy. I’m very happy that Sasha is with me,” Subbotina said with a smile.
Added Skochilenko: “My relationship with Russia is over. I need to accept that. I’m glad there’s a new life.”
Source: Dasha Litvinova, “Russian artist released in swap builds a new life in Germany, now free to marry her partner,” Press Democrat, 12 August 2024. (“The Press Democrat, with the largest circulation in California’s North Bay, is a daily newspaper published in Santa Rosa, California.” Santa Rosa is twenty miles from Guerneville, both of which are located in California’s Sonoma County, which I have had the pleasure of visiting three times this year.)
On Friday, Trump appeared in Bozeman, Montana, marking his first public appearance since Kamala Harris selected Tim Walz as her running mate. The former president took the stage later than scheduled, citing engine troubles on his plane. The event garnered significant attention from political pundits, especially in light of Trump’s declining poll numbers. Many speculated on how his campaign messaging might evolve. A noticeable shift emerged quickly: a heightened focus on attacking transgender people.
You can see a compilation of his attacks on transgender people here:
Trump’s initial attack targeted Imane Khelif, the Olympic athlete who was falsely accused by prominent right-wing figures of “being a man.” Trump commented on Khelif, saying, “I’d like to congratulate the young woman who transitioned from a man into a boxer. You saw he won—she won—the gold medal. How about the beautiful young Italian boxer? She got in there, didn’t know what was going on… she was a very good boxer, against other women. She didn’t count on this. She said, ‘OK, I had enough.’ It’s crazy what they are doing… this person won the gold medal. How crazy is this? And she wants it. She wants men to play in women’s sports.”
Imane Kehelif is not transgender, and has never transitioned. She was assigned female at birth, has always been cisgender, and was ruled out of competition by the International Boxing Association (IBA) after defeating an undefeated Russian boxer. Notably, the IBA is presided over by Umar Kremlev of Russia, and has been suspended by the International Olympic Committee due to corruption, judging scandals, and more.
Trump then shifted his focus to Tim Walz, declaring, “He signed a law letting the state kidnap children to change their gender so that they go home… I’m not talking about him, I’m talking about her. This is her ideology, this is why she picked him. And he signed a bill allowing pedophiles to claim human rights protections under the state law.”
The law Trump referenced is Minnesota’s legislation designating the state as a refuge for transgender individuals seeking care across state lines. The law does not permit the state to “kidnap children.” This misconception arises from a misinterpretation of a provision that allows Minnesota to “take jurisdiction” in cases involving youth transitions where one parent resides in a state that criminalizes such care and the other in a state where it is legal, particularly during divorce or custody disputes. As for the claim of “allowing pedophiles to claim human rights protections,” this is also false. The confusion stems from the removal of pedophilia from the definition of sexual orientation, but pedophilia remains illegal under Minnesota law.
Finally, Trump addressed schools, stating that he would “remove funding from any school pushing critical race theory, transgender insanity, and other inappropriate racial, sexual, or political content onto the lives of our children.” While this could be referring to book bans, which have proliferated in many states, Trump might also be threatening to use similar tactics against schools that allow transgender youth to use bathrooms matching their gender identity, change their names, or avoid forcibly outing trans youth to their parents.
Attacks on transgender people have little record of electoral success, with similar efforts failing in many campaigns over the last few elections. In elections where Republicans made trans people the major issue, the Republican Party faltered: 70% of Moms for Liberty and Project 1776 candidates lost their races in 2023. In Kentucky, the American Principles Project spent millions on anti-trans ads against Democratic Governor Andy Beshear, who won by a larger margin than his first election. Other losses Republicans have suffered on this issue occurred in the Virginia legislature elections, the Arizona Governor’s race, the Michigan legislature elections, the Wisconsin Supreme Court election, the Walker-Warnock Senate race, and in dozens more places. Furthermore, recent polling from Gallup, Navigator, and the LA Times indicates fading public support for such laws, with huge majorities of respondents seeing them as a distraction and opposing bans on trans youth care.
Despite a history of limited success with these tactics, Trump seems to be doubling down on the issue in a desperate bid to boost his poll numbers. If he succeeds and regains office, transgender individuals could face unprecedented threats as his administration intensifies its targeting of their rights and protections.
